I have been not very good at keeping up my habit of journaling lately. I don't know why it feels like a heavy burden to just stop for a while, start writing things down and by that start to notice the things that are on my mind. It is after all quite of a low effort activity, but still I am finding it very tedious and straining.
Because of the fact that I don't accomplish this goal of journaling it starts to make me feel bad. I feel bad that I don't achieve the goal that I have set up for myself. This sense of feeling bad can make a small push to actually and go that thing you planned to do. But for me personally it often is more of a source of agony than a push to go and do it. So the funny thing here is that previously I didn't have the goal and life was good. Somehow I made up that goal in my head, and because I don't achieve that goal I start to make myself bad. Because nobody else than me, myself, did make up that goal. These goals have a good intention in the beginning, and I set them for myself with only good things in mind. Nobody else has set up these goals for me. Nobody has told me that "you must journal more often!".
So the funny things is that this tiny little thing that I try to do to make clear up my thought and make my life a little bit better, has suddenly turned into something completely the opposite. One more thing to do. One thing more to worry about. One thing causing me stress and unhappiness.